I am not a daytime person.

moonscapeIf you were to ask me what has been the biggest stumbling block in my life; I would have to answer that I am a dedicated night person. This problem has held me back from more opportunities than anything else. I am sure it started back when I was developing my fear of crowds, the daytime was (and is) far too busy.

I remember putting my poor Mother through hell and back trying to wake me in the mornings. I had the  strange ability to sit up in bead, eyes open and tell her I was awake. Of course as you can  guess. I was fast asleep betraying not only my dear Mother, but also myself..

This has gone on for most of my life. I would set 4 alarm clocks in 4 corners, all set five minutes before and after the time ai had to wake. And, completely  asleep, I Would get up and one by one at 5 minute intervals turn them off and head back to bed. This practice has cost me in school; failing to show up on time for exams, (there was no leniency then for tardiness) I have missed employment opportunities  by missing job interviews. I have also lost jobs because they started too early and I would be late or extremely under-slept.

I have tried , over the years, to turn myself into a ‘day’ person. I hear over and over  “you will adjust after a few days”. I felt like barking back at them “It’s not bloody jet lag it doesn’t correct it self.”

Now we understand about sleep disorders and if you are nocturnal, so be it. Schools have changed class and exam schedules to accommodate the students with this disorder or rather a difference. More and more businesses have flexible schedules and more night shifts. They have all noted an increase in productivity by doing so.

I can just imagine what my life would be like under these contemporary rules and ideals..

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One response to “I am not a daytime person.

  1. I can see why this happened to my teenage daughter because of her panic attacks and anxieties. She went from someone who could get herself up and ready for school in the mornings to a night owl, unable to get to sleep until five or six am. What you say about the daytime being busier is a very good point. I had an uncle who was so agoraphobic that he refused to attend hospital for tests. He became so ill, his family called an ambulance and he died on the way to the hospital. I think he may have had cancer for a long time. I remember my mother not understanding why he could take a short walk at night but not set foot past his gate in the daytime. I wish there had been more knowledge and awareness about what he was dealing thirty years ago. Thanks for sharing these insights, it really helps.


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